Self Compassion (and your Inner Critic)

Well I settled on Self Compassion for this month’s topic for as Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk (Author of The Body Keeps the Score) says, it actually doesn’t matter which intervention you reasonate with, the biggest impacts will be supported with self compassion and self kindness.
 
So have a think about how to speak to yourself?  Do you get angry and tell yourself off?  Do you call yourself a failure or a loser?  Do you tell yourself you’re too fat or ugly?
 
Or do you speak with kindness and compassion as say that’s ok, I did my best, I am proud of who I am and I will be ok.. and then move forward.
 
Simply put, Self Compassion is showing ourselves the same kindness, respect and empathy as we would show our partner, our best friend or a child.
 
My colleague and Wellbeing Coach, Melanie Rewuk shared this great resource with me; Dr Kirsten Neff authors the website https://self-compassion.org which has an abundance of resources that can be accessed for free. (Thanks Mel)
 
Self Compassion supports us to address our Inner Critic, the part of ourself that keeps us down and is well versed in telling us how “no good” we are.  The Inner Critic can be very harsh and whilst you may find motivation from your Inner Critic… more often than not we waste excessive energy and time listening to our Inner Critic and we forget to be kind to ourselves and reinforce and motivate through comfort, positive reinforcement and growth.
 
For men especially, self compassion can be a valuable antedote for shame… and I will share more about that in a future newsletter… or just ask me.