When we peel back the layers of emotional pain, somatic holding and tension and a flurry of our protective parts (think Internal Family Systems Model- IFS), we have a desire, need and yearning for connection and belonging. Remember: we are hardwired to connect!
Think of how babies connect to their caregivers, through eye contact, voice and touch and as adults, this is no different. We can reinforce a sense of safety by connecting to another person and whilst many may wish for eye contact, a calming word or the sensation of touch, others may gain safety by just knowing someone else is in the next room or that another person understands their perspective. A wonderful neurodiverse client shared this week about their comfort of another person acknowledging their own parallel discomfort.
Sometimes we connect through our senses and sometimes through our shared experience.
Allowing connection means allowing vulnerability. Give a little of yourself and open the invitation so someone can give a little back. They may accept your invitation or they may not, but you know that you created a space for it…. And that is an offer of human connection.